bfn again this month. i'm doing ok. i'm so busy with everything else that's going on in my life that i tend to only cry when i sit down to think about it. i'm just fucking sick of it. this was iui #4 and i feel like i have no reason to complain to people who have been through a hell of a lot more.
this weekend the hubbies parents took it upon themselves to take our guest table cards at a cousins wedding and seat us right next to - the pregnant cousin and the cousin who just had her 5th kid (white trash). not kidding. i cried. right at the table. fuck em' - the pregnant cousin told me i should have been at her shower because she had gluten free cupcakes - i wanted to smack her. the other cousin told me later on in the night that other people she works with are just jealous of her because she can have kids and it's her right to have as many as she wants. i about died. actually - i just looked at her and walked away. mid conversation.
in happy news. we celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. i ended the night by trying my dress on for kicks. it was too big. felt good.
just hanging tight to figure out what we have to do next since my prolactin levels were high last month. urgh. maybe we should just go right to ivf.
Hating those cousins on your behalf. They sound horrid.
ReplyDeleteBut, happy anniversary! Hope you were able to enjoy it!
You have every right to upset. This is a big deal and it does not matter that maybe other people have been through worse, who cares- this hurts- a lot- and thats what matters. I hope your RE has some suggestions for you. I know for me around 3 failed IUI's we started to talk about IVF, it is at least worth asking about. You have my email if you need anything.
ReplyDeletesending my love to you always...
Ahh Jen I am so sorry that this month was a bust. It gets harder each cycle to have that hope carpet pulled out from under your feet. What you are going thru is so real and such a big deal and all of these feeling you are having are so totally valid.
ReplyDeleteOur RE suggested that we do no more than 4 IUI's since the rate of success drops off significantly. IVF seemed like such a HUGE step to take, but when it was right, we knew it was what we had to do.
I also had prolactin levels that were on the high side and took a medication to lower them during the IVF cycle. Sending you some good thoughts as you figure out what your next step is.