i keep waiting

for big news. to post about a new discovery that we've made in the world of infertility - that we've finally gone to the endo and he's discovered something else than uttering the words we already know - "oh, your testicles are small." - seriously? we already know that - and ps doctor - i think they are just fine.

another rounds of test. another - oh you're within normal range but not really - so much so that we'd like to send you to the mayo clinic - oh really? what are we missing here?

i promise i've been reading blogs - just nothing much to report on our end - let's be honest - i hope 2011 is a better year.

annoying

i feel most days like we have a pretty good handle on our decisions with starting a family. this spring A will be getting his bonus. he's has had a really great year. his bonus will allow for us to pay off a big chunk of the debt from business school. it will no longer make us the 30 something couple that lives paycheck to paycheck. it's a good feeling. would it be enough for us to do IVF? yes. but we'd be right back in the same place we are now. driving two old cars, not saving & add a child to the mix of no money - it wouldn't be good. we both know this.

this afternoon - the little boy that i watch - his mom - called me to tell me she went to her OBGYN today and that such and such doctor can do this and that and blah blah blah! no shit sherlock - you don't think we've looked into every possible thing in this small town wisconsin?

sometimes i get so annoyed by everyone (people that haven't faced infertility) giving there two sense - it's times like this that i really regret telling anyone IRL about what is going on and why we don't have children.