the bummer part about being married to a man who suffers from IF is his lack of sex drive. it's pretty much non existent. being in my early 30's it's pretty darn opposite for me.
we have sex - hardly ever. i mean that. especially now that we've used and will be using a donor. it breaks my heart. this morning i decided to just go for it. - he couldn't finish - seriously.
he's been eating a ton, not working out, and obviously stressed. it breaks my heart. he's not someone that talks about feelings. ever. in fact, he gets really annoyed.
i'm really trying to be understand.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Happy New Year
i'm nestled in my fluffy white blanket with a nice cup of coffee & enjoying the peace and quiet that surrounds me on my last day of vacation. i left last week Wednesday to start our Christmas celebration and i've been home a whole 24 hours since then. my brothers family and his four kids live two hours away & he and his wife are both teachers so i got to spend some good quality time with them. i even managed to steal my sister in law away for a whole day of outlet & ikea shopping - it was really wonderful.
i spent new years with my bestest friends. when i was five, a little girl was hiding behind a garbage can, shy, new to our school, & afraid - i asked her to play - we've been playing ever since. she now lives in san diego, dated a boy from 18-20 - moved on with her life, reconnected with him at 27 & married him three weeks later, had two beautiful children with him - oh and he's a seal. a real live navy seal, & he's deployed. she's "home" in wisconsin to stay with her mom for part of the time that he's gone and i feel beyond thankful that she's here. she is drop dead beautiful. has a body to drool over. is an amazing mom. a wonderful sister to her younger brother, an awesome daughter, a faithful friend but most importantly a wife that loves her husband unlike any love i have ever seen. yesterday morning after a 4am night of cocktails and conversation (who stays up until 4?) she was up with her kids and i came downstairs to hear her talking to her son. he's colored some pictures and she asks him if he'd like to send it to daddy. she bets that daddy would really like it in his room. i start to cry. i don't let her see. i just continue to wash dishes & remind myself that i have so much to be thankful for. little things like taking the dogs out in the morning. right now, her husband is on a ship. somewhere. that's all she knows. she never complains. i mean never. in her 5+ years of marriage i've heard her cry about him leaving once. she knew getting into it that this was going to be her life. she's so strong.
daily, i'm thankful. for my amazing friends (and i'll weed out the not so amazing ones) :) & i've decided that this year for my new years resolution i'm going to take the time once a month - choose a friend or family member - write them a card - reminding them how much a value them - put a stamp on it - and mail it in the united states postal service. it's all about getting back to basics for me.
i spent new years with my bestest friends. when i was five, a little girl was hiding behind a garbage can, shy, new to our school, & afraid - i asked her to play - we've been playing ever since. she now lives in san diego, dated a boy from 18-20 - moved on with her life, reconnected with him at 27 & married him three weeks later, had two beautiful children with him - oh and he's a seal. a real live navy seal, & he's deployed. she's "home" in wisconsin to stay with her mom for part of the time that he's gone and i feel beyond thankful that she's here. she is drop dead beautiful. has a body to drool over. is an amazing mom. a wonderful sister to her younger brother, an awesome daughter, a faithful friend but most importantly a wife that loves her husband unlike any love i have ever seen. yesterday morning after a 4am night of cocktails and conversation (who stays up until 4?) she was up with her kids and i came downstairs to hear her talking to her son. he's colored some pictures and she asks him if he'd like to send it to daddy. she bets that daddy would really like it in his room. i start to cry. i don't let her see. i just continue to wash dishes & remind myself that i have so much to be thankful for. little things like taking the dogs out in the morning. right now, her husband is on a ship. somewhere. that's all she knows. she never complains. i mean never. in her 5+ years of marriage i've heard her cry about him leaving once. she knew getting into it that this was going to be her life. she's so strong.
daily, i'm thankful. for my amazing friends (and i'll weed out the not so amazing ones) :) & i've decided that this year for my new years resolution i'm going to take the time once a month - choose a friend or family member - write them a card - reminding them how much a value them - put a stamp on it - and mail it in the united states postal service. it's all about getting back to basics for me.
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